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Do you ever put the phone down after speaking to a friend, a colleague, or a client and think “WHY did I agre...
Do you ever put the phone down after speaking to a friend, a colleague, or a client and think “WHY did I agree to that?!”
If so, you may suffer from an inability to say “no.”
It’s a rather common affliction. Few people want to be seen as selfish or inconsiderate, but the simple fact of the matter is that, at some point in life, you need to learn where to draw the line—otherwise the only person who will suffer is you.
Many experts in psychology, including authors and motivational speakers, agree that learning to say “no” is a crucial part of personal development.
Auliq Ice is a well-known author and recording artist, renowned for his quotable sound bites. He has the following to say on the subject:
“Many of us feel compelled to agree to every request, and would rather juggle a million jobs than refuse to help, even if we are left with no time for ourselves.”
He goes on to say that:
“Learning to say no can earn you respect from yourself as well those around you.”
Elaine St. James is another expert who agrees. St. James is a specialist in life “simplification” who has written for the New York Times and appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She says the following:
“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”
The key message to take on board here is that saying “yes” all the time doesn’t actually help anyone. Unfair though it may seem, people who do so are typically seen as pushovers rather than kind and giving people.
It’s not a question of “nice guys finish last.” More to the point is that people tend to have respect for people who are confident enough to stand up for themselves. Don’t overdo it and start being selfish, but try to stop saying “yes” as a default response.